Express Milwaukee - Art for Art's Sake http://expressmilwaukee.com/articles.sec-15-1-art-for-arts-sake.html Fri, 24 Oct 2014 00:00:00 EDT en hourly 1 Hey Schmo, Where You Going http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-24126-hey-schmo-where-you-going.html I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I’m expecting any day now for some tea-bagging douche-bag Republican House clown]]> In the Belfry http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-24079-in-the-belfry.html I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So yeah, another 130th Uptowner tavern/charm school anniversary shebang has come and gone and]]> Deflower Power http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23899-deflower-power.html I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? Cripes, back to school and Labor Day, already? And after that, next holiday you get the day off to go by your relatives and drink their]]> Scooper Pooper http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23754-scooper-pooper.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, it’s another week where I’m not able to pinch off a slam-bang essay for your perusal platter on account I’m scheduled to rendezvous with my Milwaukee county sheriff campaign brain trust to figure out a way I can score some time on the TV talk

]]>
Sheep Dip Dalliance http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23718-sheep-dip-dalliance.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, just got off the phone with my pal Little Jimmy Iodine and now I need to take off in a couple, three minutes to head up over to the Uptowner tavern/charm school where me and the fellas shall gather to make our plans for getting out to the

]]>
’Hosen Off http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23700-%25E2%2580%2599hosen-off.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, just a quick reminder to everyone not to forget that yes, indeed, I am a candidate-in-waiting to be your next governor

]]>
Trotting Out the Bull http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23639-trotting-out-the-bull.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So yeah, I wasn’t around last week to whip out an essay on account of needing to take one of those work-vacations with some of the fellas so’s we could research a little on a billion-dollar idea Little Jimmy Iodine had a couple, three years back

]]>
Doodle Dandy http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23580-doodle-dandy.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? Listen, once again after all these years when it comes to this time of year, year-in, year-out, if you even begin to think I could possibly have any gas left to pass through another essay on that annual Summerfest musical racket down there by our

]]>
John Doughless http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23550-john-doughless.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh man manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, there’s no time to lose. It just dawned on me now that a couple, three Dairyland governor contestants already got their campaigns launched for 2014’s dock, the focksticks. So I got to run pronto to meet up with mine own campaign brain trust

]]>
Still No Cure http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23529-still-no-cure.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh man manischewitz what a world, ain’a? And about this summer solstice June 21, it’s a bad news/good news deal to me. Bad news: June 21 is the first—not the last—focking day of summer with way

]]>
Bender Man http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23456-bender-man.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? Listen, no essay for you’s again this week. I got to meet up with the fellas so’s we can make our Polish

]]>
A Wake in Progress http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23383-a-wake-in-progress.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? Hey, just so you know, this year marks the 60th anniversary from when RC-focking-A built the first

]]>
Dancin’ in the Streets http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23338-dancin%25E2%2580%2599-in-the-streets.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, here it is already May what-the-fock and I have yet to receive nary a single invite to be the

]]>
Just a Guy http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23300-just-a-guy.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? And gosh darn it, what another embarrassing couple, three days I had to suffer through last week

]]>
You Talk Like a Sausage http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23215-you-talk-like-a-sausage.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh man manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, what with all the racist spew cycling through our national discourse, lo, these days, like crap through a goose, I’m forced to remember a time past where I took a day off so as to think about, perhaps even mull, my vowel-challenged Polish

]]>
You Tell Me That It’s Evolution http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23185-you-tell-me-that-it%25E2%2580%2599s-evolution.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, last Sunday, the Easter, I was called to make one of my rare appearances west of the Milwaukee River, nearly 25 miles or so west of the river, to be sort of exact. I left near-the-lake Downtown where it was a

]]>
Please Lend Me a Hand of Full http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23139-please-lend-me-a-hand-of-full.html

  Dear Friends, Hello to you. I am with sorry news for you with what has happened to me. I am on

]]>
Super Bar, Super Man http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23049-super-bar-super-man.html  I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, definitely feeling a shade of blue this week. I got a call that Mike Cmeyla had died, goddamn it

]]>
Bracketitis Corpus Delecti http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22971-bracketitis-corpus-delecti.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, if NPR’s puzzle master Will Shortz were to call me right this second and ask me what the most-asked three-word question has been over the last six-seven

]]>
Swingin' on a Star http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22856-swingin-on-a-star.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, it being the Lenten season, let us pray, you betcha

]]>
Time Flies Like an Arrow, Fruit Flies Like a Banana http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22837-time-flies-like-an-arrow-fruit-flies-like-a-banana.html  I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? And so I wonder what Groucho would say about the blockhead notion to buff St. Patty’s “Day” into

]]>
Best Focumentary Feature http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22721-best-focumentary-feature.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So with the religiously Lenten season coming up like a bad burrito, I’m wrestling with the yearly

]]>
Old Muddle Wiener http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22704-old-muddle-wiener.html I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? And let me tell you’s, the only benefit I get from those Winter Olympics is that every four years I get to ask: “What the fock, ‘Dick Button’? You got to be jerking]]> I Figure Less than Greek http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22645-i-figure-less-than-greek.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh man manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So how ’bout this for a headline I saw the other day somewheres: “Water could be flowing on Mars now.” What the fock. The story says “researchers have found clues that water could be flowing in the present, at least during warm seasons

]]>
Over the Weather http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22597-over-the-weather.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So, did you miss me? Yeah, I know, now you’re supposed to say, “What? Miss you? Like, you were gone or something

]]>
On the Rocks http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22479-on-the-rocks.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, during last Friday’s ice storm I discovered that a Sonja Henie I am not. Not only don’t I have the skills, but neither do I

]]>
Below Normal http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22445-below-normal.html I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? And so another holiday season has closed—for most of you’s, but not for me, no sir. As I’ve said many]]> Old Long Sigh http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22421-old-long-sigh.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So I hear it’s that time of year, which means I don’t have time to pony up a regular essay this week ’cause I’ve got my hands full with cranking up the thermostat and mixing another hot focking toddy. I could use two of me, I kid you not

]]>
Another Fistful of Fruitcake http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22347-another-fistful-of-fruitcake.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? Listen, I’m on special-reporter assignment to research the whereabouts of the future, so I’m short on the wherewithal to pony up an essay for you’s this week

]]>
A Few of My Favorite Ba-dings! http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22308-a-few-of-my-favorite-ba-dings_.html  I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? Cripes, did we get conquered by Canada and nobody told me ’cause this weather’s FOCKING

]]>