Express Milwaukee - Art for Art's Sake http://expressmilwaukee.com/articles.sec-15-1-art-for-arts-sake.html Sun, 20 Apr 2014 00:00:00 EDT en hourly 1 Please Lend Me a Hand of Full http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23139-please-lend-me-a-hand-of-full.html

  Dear Friends, Hello to you. I am with sorry news for you with what has happened to me. I am on

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Super Bar, Super Man http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23049-super-bar-super-man.html  I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, definitely feeling a shade of blue this week. I got a call that Mike Cmeyla had died, goddamn it

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Bracketitis Corpus Delecti http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22971-bracketitis-corpus-delecti.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, if NPR’s puzzle master Will Shortz were to call me right this second and ask me what the most-asked three-word question has been over the last six-seven

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Swingin' on a Star http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22856-swingin-on-a-star.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, it being the Lenten season, let us pray, you betcha

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Time Flies Like an Arrow, Fruit Flies Like a Banana http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22837-time-flies-like-an-arrow-fruit-flies-like-a-banana.html  I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? And so I wonder what Groucho would say about the blockhead notion to buff St. Patty’s “Day” into

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Best Focumentary Feature http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22721-best-focumentary-feature.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So with the religiously Lenten season coming up like a bad burrito, I’m wrestling with the yearly

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Old Muddle Wiener http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22704-old-muddle-wiener.html I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? And let me tell you’s, the only benefit I get from those Winter Olympics is that every four years I get to ask: “What the fock, ‘Dick Button’? You got to be jerking]]> I Figure Less than Greek http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22645-i-figure-less-than-greek.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh man manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So how ’bout this for a headline I saw the other day somewheres: “Water could be flowing on Mars now.” What the fock. The story says “researchers have found clues that water could be flowing in the present, at least during warm seasons

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Over the Weather http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22597-over-the-weather.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So, did you miss me? Yeah, I know, now you’re supposed to say, “What? Miss you? Like, you were gone or something

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On the Rocks http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22479-on-the-rocks.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, during last Friday’s ice storm I discovered that a Sonja Henie I am not. Not only don’t I have the skills, but neither do I

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Below Normal http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22445-below-normal.html I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? And so another holiday season has closed—for most of you’s, but not for me, no sir. As I’ve said many]]> Old Long Sigh http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22421-old-long-sigh.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So I hear it’s that time of year, which means I don’t have time to pony up a regular essay this week ’cause I’ve got my hands full with cranking up the thermostat and mixing another hot focking toddy. I could use two of me, I kid you not

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Another Fistful of Fruitcake http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22347-another-fistful-of-fruitcake.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? Listen, I’m on special-reporter assignment to research the whereabouts of the future, so I’m short on the wherewithal to pony up an essay for you’s this week

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A Few of My Favorite Ba-dings! http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22308-a-few-of-my-favorite-ba-dings_.html  I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? Cripes, did we get conquered by Canada and nobody told me ’cause this weather’s FOCKING

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The Jiggers and the Clowns http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22226-the-jiggers-and-the-clowns.html  I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? Listen, it’s been suggested I slap together the Positive-Cheerful-Vivacious-Enthusiastic Feel-Good-and-Thankful Essay of the Year. I’d like to tell you’s that the loser now will be later to win, that the slow one now will later be fast, and the first one

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What a Wonderful World This Would Be http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22184-what-a-wonderful-world-this-would-be.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, please don’t stop me if you’ve heard this before ’cause it’s the best and brightest thing I can offer under the circumstances, what the fock

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The Best of All Impossible Worlds http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22138-the-best-of-all-impossible-worlds.html I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? And what a choc-packed full-jammed issue you hold in your hands this week, what with the “best this” and “best that,” what the fock.]]> The Men On the Chessboard http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22084-the-men-on-the-chessboard.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh man manischewitz what a world, ain’a? Listen, I’ve got me a bad case of deep-dark despair but good what with Aaron Rodgers’ cracked clavicle and the Packer

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Master of the Johnson http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22046-master-of-the-johnson.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, besides the fact that I’m down with this big, bad honking cold that I swear could turn into pneu-focking-monia at the drop of a snotrag, I’m not feeling

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An’ a One, An’ a Two, An’ a… http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-21936-an%25E2%2580%2599-a-one-an%25E2%2580%2599-a-two-an%25E2%2580%2599-a%25E2%2580%25A6.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I’m smack-dab stuck in the middle of a family dental emergency over here, so I got myself about fifteen focking minutes to rattle off whatever comes off the top of my head, I kid you no

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My Head All Full of Stuffin’ http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-21888-my-head-all-full-of-stuffin%25E2%2580%2599.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, the Milwaukee Film Festival is underway and once again there

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Legend of a Sleepy Holler http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-21869-legend-of-a-sleepy-holler.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I live Downtown and I haven’t had a nearly copacetic night’s sleep since late spring on account of all the goddamn seagulls we got down here squawking their asses off morning, noon and night, what the fock

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Have an A1 Day http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-21821-have-an-a1-day.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So kemosabes, how ’bout that near-massacre of the football team belonging to our nation’s capital called the “Redskins,” delivered last Sunday by America’s Team, our beloved Green Bay Packers? You betcha

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Your Place or Mime? http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-21758-your-place-or-mime.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So, this brouhaha about maybe bombing the bejesus out of the Syrian Arab Republic, I think I heard that of all our so-called allies, focking France is right there with U.S. if we decide to take some action and roll destiny’s dice, god bless America

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Outside the Uprights http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-21722-outside-the-uprights.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So another Labor Day has come and gone—a day I spent in celebration of the American workingman by sitting on my ass in some clown’s backyard doing nothing except drink somebody else’s beer, what the fock

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Welcome Dirtbags, Again http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-21684-welcome-dirtbags-again.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? And for christ sakes, right there in the title to this week’s supposed essay I stepped on the punchline to the introductory joke I chose to whip out in salutations to those afflicted with this motorcycle mania we got going around Our Town anywhere and

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Get Artie http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-21656-get-artie.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, here is just one more reason I need a personal assistant to help me with daily chores—female, ’natch, and pronto. Coming out of the bathtub following last Saturday morning’s shower, I lost my balance whilst attempting to dry a wet foot and

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Leaves of Gas http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-21611-leaves-of-gas.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, it’s early, early Sunday morning and I abso-focking-lutely could not fall asleep ’cause for the life of me I could not remember if on the old TV series “Hawaii Five-O,” Kam Fong was what’s-his-name, the character Chin Ho, or if Chin Ho

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Today’s Yesterday http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-21543-today%25E2%2580%2599s-yesterday.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I know that some of you’s regard me as more than just a run-of-the-focking-mill insightful essayist. You also lean on me as you would, say, a mentor

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Small Market-itis http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-21500-small-market-itis.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? Hey, I heard our beloved Milwaukee Bucks are really getting the heebie-jeebies ’cause there’s still no concrete plans for a brand-spanking new arena in which for

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