Express Milwaukee - Art for Art's Sake http://expressmilwaukee.com/articles.sec-15-1-art-for-arts-sake.html Wed, 30 Jul 2014 00:00:00 EDT en hourly 1 Sheep Dip Dalliance http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23718-sheep-dip-dalliance.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, just got off the phone with my pal Little Jimmy Iodine and now I need to take off in a couple, three minutes to head up over to the Uptowner tavern/charm school where me and the fellas shall gather to make our plans for getting out to the

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’Hosen Off http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23700-%25E2%2580%2599hosen-off.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, just a quick reminder to everyone not to forget that yes, indeed, I am a candidate-in-waiting to be your next governor

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Trotting Out the Bull http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23639-trotting-out-the-bull.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So yeah, I wasn’t around last week to whip out an essay on account of needing to take one of those work-vacations with some of the fellas so’s we could research a little on a billion-dollar idea Little Jimmy Iodine had a couple, three years back

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Doodle Dandy http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23580-doodle-dandy.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? Listen, once again after all these years when it comes to this time of year, year-in, year-out, if you even begin to think I could possibly have any gas left to pass through another essay on that annual Summerfest musical racket down there by our

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John Doughless http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23550-john-doughless.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh man manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, there’s no time to lose. It just dawned on me now that a couple, three Dairyland governor contestants already got their campaigns launched for 2014’s dock, the focksticks. So I got to run pronto to meet up with mine own campaign brain trust

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Still No Cure http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23529-still-no-cure.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh man manischewitz what a world, ain’a? And about this summer solstice June 21, it’s a bad news/good news deal to me. Bad news: June 21 is the first—not the last—focking day of summer with way

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Bender Man http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23456-bender-man.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? Listen, no essay for you’s again this week. I got to meet up with the fellas so’s we can make our Polish

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A Wake in Progress http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23383-a-wake-in-progress.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? Hey, just so you know, this year marks the 60th anniversary from when RC-focking-A built the first

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Dancin’ in the Streets http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23338-dancin%25E2%2580%2599-in-the-streets.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, here it is already May what-the-fock and I have yet to receive nary a single invite to be the

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Just a Guy http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23300-just-a-guy.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? And gosh darn it, what another embarrassing couple, three days I had to suffer through last week

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You Talk Like a Sausage http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23215-you-talk-like-a-sausage.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh man manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, what with all the racist spew cycling through our national discourse, lo, these days, like crap through a goose, I’m forced to remember a time past where I took a day off so as to think about, perhaps even mull, my vowel-challenged Polish

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You Tell Me That It’s Evolution http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23185-you-tell-me-that-it%25E2%2580%2599s-evolution.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, last Sunday, the Easter, I was called to make one of my rare appearances west of the Milwaukee River, nearly 25 miles or so west of the river, to be sort of exact. I left near-the-lake Downtown where it was a

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Please Lend Me a Hand of Full http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23139-please-lend-me-a-hand-of-full.html

  Dear Friends, Hello to you. I am with sorry news for you with what has happened to me. I am on

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Super Bar, Super Man http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23049-super-bar-super-man.html  I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, definitely feeling a shade of blue this week. I got a call that Mike Cmeyla had died, goddamn it

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Bracketitis Corpus Delecti http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22971-bracketitis-corpus-delecti.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, if NPR’s puzzle master Will Shortz were to call me right this second and ask me what the most-asked three-word question has been over the last six-seven

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Swingin' on a Star http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22856-swingin-on-a-star.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, it being the Lenten season, let us pray, you betcha

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Time Flies Like an Arrow, Fruit Flies Like a Banana http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22837-time-flies-like-an-arrow-fruit-flies-like-a-banana.html  I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? And so I wonder what Groucho would say about the blockhead notion to buff St. Patty’s “Day” into

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Best Focumentary Feature http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22721-best-focumentary-feature.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So with the religiously Lenten season coming up like a bad burrito, I’m wrestling with the yearly

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Old Muddle Wiener http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22704-old-muddle-wiener.html I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? And let me tell you’s, the only benefit I get from those Winter Olympics is that every four years I get to ask: “What the fock, ‘Dick Button’? You got to be jerking]]> I Figure Less than Greek http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22645-i-figure-less-than-greek.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh man manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So how ’bout this for a headline I saw the other day somewheres: “Water could be flowing on Mars now.” What the fock. The story says “researchers have found clues that water could be flowing in the present, at least during warm seasons

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Over the Weather http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22597-over-the-weather.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So, did you miss me? Yeah, I know, now you’re supposed to say, “What? Miss you? Like, you were gone or something

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On the Rocks http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22479-on-the-rocks.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, during last Friday’s ice storm I discovered that a Sonja Henie I am not. Not only don’t I have the skills, but neither do I

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Below Normal http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22445-below-normal.html I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? And so another holiday season has closed—for most of you’s, but not for me, no sir. As I’ve said many]]> Old Long Sigh http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22421-old-long-sigh.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So I hear it’s that time of year, which means I don’t have time to pony up a regular essay this week ’cause I’ve got my hands full with cranking up the thermostat and mixing another hot focking toddy. I could use two of me, I kid you not

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Another Fistful of Fruitcake http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22347-another-fistful-of-fruitcake.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? Listen, I’m on special-reporter assignment to research the whereabouts of the future, so I’m short on the wherewithal to pony up an essay for you’s this week

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A Few of My Favorite Ba-dings! http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22308-a-few-of-my-favorite-ba-dings_.html  I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? Cripes, did we get conquered by Canada and nobody told me ’cause this weather’s FOCKING

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The Jiggers and the Clowns http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22226-the-jiggers-and-the-clowns.html  I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? Listen, it’s been suggested I slap together the Positive-Cheerful-Vivacious-Enthusiastic Feel-Good-and-Thankful Essay of the Year. I’d like to tell you’s that the loser now will be later to win, that the slow one now will later be fast, and the first one

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What a Wonderful World This Would Be http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22184-what-a-wonderful-world-this-would-be.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, please don’t stop me if you’ve heard this before ’cause it’s the best and brightest thing I can offer under the circumstances, what the fock

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The Best of All Impossible Worlds http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22138-the-best-of-all-impossible-worlds.html I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? And what a choc-packed full-jammed issue you hold in your hands this week, what with the “best this” and “best that,” what the fock.]]> The Men On the Chessboard http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22084-the-men-on-the-chessboard.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh man manischewitz what a world, ain’a? Listen, I’ve got me a bad case of deep-dark despair but good what with Aaron Rodgers’ cracked clavicle and the Packer

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