Express Milwaukee - Art for Art's Sake http://expressmilwaukee.com/articles.sec-15-1-art-for-arts-sake.html Fri, 28 Nov 2014 00:00:00 EST en hourly 1 Gobble Gobbull http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-24458-gobble-gobbull.html I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? And for our valiant big buck hunters up a tree or scattered to and fro across Badgerland’s hills and dales presently, here’s a story that never fails to put the guys in the mood for a night of beer-bingeing after a long day outdoors shooting at each other]]> Cloudy with a Guarantee of Goofballs http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-24380-cloudy-with-a-guarantee-of-goofballs.html I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? OK, a couple, three things here but first: Holy focking schnikes, how ’bout the frigidity of this weather for christ sakes. Hey, for those of you’s who got caught with your winter pants down and now got the heebie-jeebies, wondering how the heck you will ]]> Future Tense http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-24325-future-tense.html I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, right now for me it’s election day Tuesday, Nov. 4, and I’m sitting here with the heebie-jeebies on account of wondering if the nationwide Republicans along with our own Gov. Snidely Whiplash will somehow manage to swipe another ]]> Hey Schmo, Where You Going http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-24126-hey-schmo-where-you-going.html I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I’m expecting any day now for some tea-bagging douche-bag Republican House clown]]> In the Belfry http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-24079-in-the-belfry.html I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So yeah, another 130th Uptowner tavern/charm school anniversary shebang has come and gone and]]> Deflower Power http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23899-deflower-power.html I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? Cripes, back to school and Labor Day, already? And after that, next holiday you get the day off to go by your relatives and drink their]]> Scooper Pooper http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23754-scooper-pooper.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, it’s another week where I’m not able to pinch off a slam-bang essay for your perusal platter on account I’m scheduled to rendezvous with my Milwaukee county sheriff campaign brain trust to figure out a way I can score some time on the TV talk

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Sheep Dip Dalliance http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23718-sheep-dip-dalliance.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, just got off the phone with my pal Little Jimmy Iodine and now I need to take off in a couple, three minutes to head up over to the Uptowner tavern/charm school where me and the fellas shall gather to make our plans for getting out to the

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’Hosen Off http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23700-%25E2%2580%2599hosen-off.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, just a quick reminder to everyone not to forget that yes, indeed, I am a candidate-in-waiting to be your next governor

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Trotting Out the Bull http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23639-trotting-out-the-bull.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So yeah, I wasn’t around last week to whip out an essay on account of needing to take one of those work-vacations with some of the fellas so’s we could research a little on a billion-dollar idea Little Jimmy Iodine had a couple, three years back

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Doodle Dandy http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23580-doodle-dandy.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? Listen, once again after all these years when it comes to this time of year, year-in, year-out, if you even begin to think I could possibly have any gas left to pass through another essay on that annual Summerfest musical racket down there by our

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John Doughless http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23550-john-doughless.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh man manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, there’s no time to lose. It just dawned on me now that a couple, three Dairyland governor contestants already got their campaigns launched for 2014’s dock, the focksticks. So I got to run pronto to meet up with mine own campaign brain trust

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Still No Cure http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23529-still-no-cure.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh man manischewitz what a world, ain’a? And about this summer solstice June 21, it’s a bad news/good news deal to me. Bad news: June 21 is the first—not the last—focking day of summer with way

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Bender Man http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23456-bender-man.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? Listen, no essay for you’s again this week. I got to meet up with the fellas so’s we can make our Polish

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A Wake in Progress http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23383-a-wake-in-progress.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? Hey, just so you know, this year marks the 60th anniversary from when RC-focking-A built the first

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Dancin’ in the Streets http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23338-dancin%25E2%2580%2599-in-the-streets.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, here it is already May what-the-fock and I have yet to receive nary a single invite to be the

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Just a Guy http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23300-just-a-guy.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? And gosh darn it, what another embarrassing couple, three days I had to suffer through last week

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You Talk Like a Sausage http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23215-you-talk-like-a-sausage.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh man manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, what with all the racist spew cycling through our national discourse, lo, these days, like crap through a goose, I’m forced to remember a time past where I took a day off so as to think about, perhaps even mull, my vowel-challenged Polish

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You Tell Me That It’s Evolution http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23185-you-tell-me-that-it%25E2%2580%2599s-evolution.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, last Sunday, the Easter, I was called to make one of my rare appearances west of the Milwaukee River, nearly 25 miles or so west of the river, to be sort of exact. I left near-the-lake Downtown where it was a

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Please Lend Me a Hand of Full http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23139-please-lend-me-a-hand-of-full.html

  Dear Friends, Hello to you. I am with sorry news for you with what has happened to me. I am on

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Super Bar, Super Man http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-23049-super-bar-super-man.html  I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, definitely feeling a shade of blue this week. I got a call that Mike Cmeyla had died, goddamn it

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Bracketitis Corpus Delecti http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22971-bracketitis-corpus-delecti.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, if NPR’s puzzle master Will Shortz were to call me right this second and ask me what the most-asked three-word question has been over the last six-seven

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Swingin' on a Star http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22856-swingin-on-a-star.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, it being the Lenten season, let us pray, you betcha

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Time Flies Like an Arrow, Fruit Flies Like a Banana http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22837-time-flies-like-an-arrow-fruit-flies-like-a-banana.html  I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? And so I wonder what Groucho would say about the blockhead notion to buff St. Patty’s “Day” into

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Best Focumentary Feature http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22721-best-focumentary-feature.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So with the religiously Lenten season coming up like a bad burrito, I’m wrestling with the yearly

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Old Muddle Wiener http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22704-old-muddle-wiener.html I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? And let me tell you’s, the only benefit I get from those Winter Olympics is that every four years I get to ask: “What the fock, ‘Dick Button’? You got to be jerking]]> I Figure Less than Greek http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22645-i-figure-less-than-greek.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh man manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So how ’bout this for a headline I saw the other day somewheres: “Water could be flowing on Mars now.” What the fock. The story says “researchers have found clues that water could be flowing in the present, at least during warm seasons

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Over the Weather http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22597-over-the-weather.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So, did you miss me? Yeah, I know, now you’re supposed to say, “What? Miss you? Like, you were gone or something

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On the Rocks http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22479-on-the-rocks.html

 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, during last Friday’s ice storm I discovered that a Sonja Henie I am not. Not only don’t I have the skills, but neither do I

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Below Normal http://expressmilwaukee.com/article-22445-below-normal.html I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? And so another holiday season has closed—for most of you’s, but not for me, no sir. As I’ve said many]]>