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Wednesday, Oct. 22, 2008

Josephine the Plumber

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I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? And what an in-focking-credible time of year this is, I kid you not, especially if you’re a baseball fan. I don’t know about you’s, but I find it mighty comforting to know that the World Series and a female bear on birth control still have one thing in common—no Cubs.

And how ’bout that race to be president in the White House? I’ll tell you, I am not surprised that John McCain called on this so-called Joe the Plumber character for help, I mean what the fock, who else but a plumber are you going to call when you got a campaign unexpectedly going down the drain?

Hey, has anyone told the Walt Disney Co. that maybe they might want to get in touch with Snow White ’cause one of her dwarfs is missing and he’s running for president? That’s right, Grumpy. Not only that, Grumpy’s gone ahead and chosen Dopey’s sister to be vice president.

But to be fair, I must admit I can agree with the senior-times-10 senator from Arizona on one point, that being the other day when he said, “We’ve got Obama right where we want him.” Yes sir, Obama’s right where I want him to be, too—with a 10-point lead in the polls with less than two weeks ’til Election Day.

Hey, speaking of future presidents, you best not forget about The Art Kumbalek Democracy Express 2008 For Any and All Political Office. You can still grab a seat on the bandwagon Thursday, Oct. 30, at the Fat Abbey Bier Cafe around the Juneau & Water Street, and election night Nov. 4 over by the Bootleggers on Old World Third Street, 6-8 p.m. both of them. Yeah yeah, with the $2 Art Kumbalek Focktoberfest Beer from Lakefront Brewery, T-shirts, bunch of other free crap and, natch’, my sunny presence.

Anyways, I got to go ’cause I got a lady plumber due by any minute now. Seems I’ve got some clogging going on and I heard she really knows her way around the pipe snake so what the fock, ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.