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Monday, July 21, 2014

Summertime and the Living Is Easy

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Whether you’re into the music of up-and-coming artists, show tunes, standards or rock, there’s a lot to hear in Milwaukee this week. (And let’s be honest, who doesn’t like a good show tune now and then, huh?) There’s also a booty-load of art and theater, so grab your best buddy, girlfriend or pocket Gay and hit the town for summer’s finest concerts, fests, art walks and more. But first, let’s read a letter from a lady with a scratchy situation in her swimsuit area.

 

Dear Ruthie,

I’ve got one for you! My va-jay-jay hurts whenever I have sex for more than 10 minutes with a guy. Think you can solve this one? Ready? Set? Go!

—Sore Down Below

 

Dear Sore-y,

You think I can’t solve the problem of your stinging snatch? Think again, sister girl! The answer is simple…GO SEE A DOCTOR! Geez, lady! Don’t leave something like that up to a big-boned redhead who writes an LGBT social events column. Call your lady doctor, and hit the stirrups so you can find out what’s wrong in the coochie zone, OK? Promise you’ll make an appointment today and get this sensitive area (pun intended) checked out ASAP!

 

UPCOMING EVENTS:

 

July 23: The Broadway Bash at the Marcus Center, Bradley Pavilion (929 N. Water St.): Milwaukee’s swankiest masquerade ball is back, and it’s sure to strike a chord with Phantom fanatics. This year, the charity ball starts with a cocktail reception at 5 p.m., followed by dinner and a live auction. Your admission to the ball includes a ticket to The Phantom of the Opera followed by a post-show reception featuring desserts and dancing. Proceeds go to fund the Marcus Center’s mission of strengthening diversity in the city through the arts. See marcuscenter.org/broadway-bash/ for more on this magical evening.

 

July 25 & 26: MishMash Fest at Art*Bar (722 E. Burleigh St.): Join the crazy kids at Art*Bar as they host the fourth MishMash street party in Riverwest. Sample specialties from Milwaukee’s favorite food trucks, enjoy live music, take in the “Riverwest Has Talent” contest and so much more! The fun starts at 3 p.m. on Friday.

July 25 & 26: Gallery Night/Day at Milwaukee’s Third Ward, East Town and Walker’s Point Galleries: Come celebrate the 27th anniversary of this popular art crawl in Cream City. Whether you’re a Picasso-esqe pro or an arty admirer this exciting event is anything but artsy-fartsy. Come see for yourself! Visit historicthirdward.org for free maps and lists of participating galleries.

July 26: Brady Street Festival (Brady Street): Rock out with your…uhm…okay maybe keep that part in your pants, but you can rock out at the granddaddy of all street fests anyway. Four stages of live music, dozens of vendors, a wrestling ring and, of course, lots and lots of beer make this fest a summertime staple. Come down for a day (11 a.m. to midnight) of outdoor drinking, shopping, eating and general craziness.

July 26: Showtunes Sunday at Club Charlies (320 E. Menomonee St.): If life is a cabaret, then you’re going to want to come taste the wine at this new weekly Sunday Funday. A projection screen offers favorite scenes from Wicked, Hairspray, Dream Girls and more. You don’t want to miss the hilarious send-off on Mommie Dearest as well as SNL clips and more. Sing the afternoon away with two-for-one Bloody Marys and other drink specials. Drag legend Karen Valentine emcees the event regularly.

July 27: Michael Bublé at the BMO Harris Bradley Center (1001 N. Fourth St.): The cute little crooner sashays his way into our hearts as he brings his classic take on standards as well as original songs to Milwaukee. The curtain goes up at 7:30 p.m.

July 28: Life’s a Drag at Next Act Theater (255 S. Water St.): Songstress Kendall Yorkey explores the meaning of the word “drag” through humorous and heartbreaking song and satire. Part of the Uprooted Theatre Cabaret Series, the 7 p.m. show opens with a 6 p.m. drag show featuring Trixie Mattel, Karizma Mirage and Jaida Essence Hall. General admission tickets are $25.

You can contact Ruthie at DearRuthie@Shepex.com, and don’t miss her crazy online cooking show at RuthiesBitchinKitchen.com!