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Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Paint the Town Red with Ruthie

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A great big smooch on the pooch to everyone who offered kind words about my debut in Shepherd Express. I’m glad you like “Hear Me Out,” and I’ll do my best not to let you down. Thanks!

To be honest, I’m pretty gosh-darn thankful for lots of things lately. I’m thankful I live in a country where adults can be who they want to be and love who they want to love. I’m thankful for the volunteers who work for my charity, Ruthie’s Kennel Club, and I’m thankful for my little dogs.

I’m thankful for Nutella, comfortable heels and the cute guy who hands me my Nachos Bell Grande at the drive-thru every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday…and Sunday. I’m thankful for Spanx. I’m thankful for martinis and “Golden Girls” reruns. I’m thankful for college boys so intoxicated they think I’m a MILF, and I’m thankful for you, my readers. Now, let’s recap what’s going on in Milwaukee and read an email I recently received.

 

UPCOMING EVENTS

 

April 17: T.I.M. (The Improvised Musical) at ComedySportz (420 S. First St.): Milwaukee’s only fully improvised musical offers this one-of-a-kind performance…because the show is based entirely on audience suggestions! This mayhem of a musical is big on comedy but also offers a story worth seeing. The curtain goes up at 7:30 p.m., but be sure to call 414-272-8888 for reservations. 

 

April 18: Art & Wine SAGE Social at Milwaukee LGBT Community Center (1110 N. Market St.): The SAGE group (Senior Action in a Gay Environment) meets once per month, and April’s meeting takes an artsy turn at the LGBT Community Center. Enjoy a glass of wine (or several!), make new friends and let your creativity flow at this 6 p.m. event.

 

April 19: The Bacchus Ball at Club Anything aka “Club ?” (807 S. Fifth St.): Join the crew at Club Anything for a night honoring a God who knows how to party…Bacchus! The centerpiece of this masquerade ball is a variety show, including comedy acts, burlesque dancers and more, followed by a DJ and dancing. The cover charge is $5 for a night to remember (9 p.m.-2 a.m.)…unless you’re like me and you get so drunk you forget it all.

 

April 19: “That’s Entertainment” at Fluid (819 S. Second St.): Did you know Fluid bar has drag shows? Well, they do, damn it! Big on comedy, this fast and funny review nods to the old days of Milwaukee drag with kooky queens and “girls” who don’t take themselves too seriously. The 10 p.m. show is sure to start your weekend on a great note.

 

April 22: Dishcrawl Milwaukee’s Tosa Village Invasion: The kids at Dishcrawl Milwaukee seek to bring people together over food. And who the hell doesn’t love food? There’s an old-world feel in the heart of the Village of Wauwatosa, and with more than 100 pedestrian-friendly stores and restaurants reminiscent of Europe, Dishcrawl felt it made the perfect spot to explore. Purchase your $45 ticket to this 7 p.m. event via Tosa Village Invasion on Facebook.

 

Dear Ruthie,

I am a 50-something straight TV, and I have always wanted to be a drag queen. Can you help me?

PC

 

Dear PC,

Thanks for writing, Sugar! Let me start by saying that if there’s one thing Milwaukee needs more of, it’s drag queens. Jesus Christ! These days it seems that every Tom, Dick and Harry who caught an episode of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” thinks he has the chops to slap on a dress and hit the stage. You pretty much can’t swing a wig over your head without hitting a drag queen, former drag queen or drag queen in training. Yep…new queens are popping up everyday (regardless of how much duct tape they use).

I’m not here to tinkle on your parade, however. You’re 50-something and you’ve always wanted to do this, so do it! If it’s something you want to try, go for it!

Start attending the drag shows in Wisconsin. La Cage and Hamburger Mary’s offer a variety of weekly shows. Other hot spots such as Fluid and Club Anything offer monthly shows. Watch the shows and talk to the girls afterward. Get their input on how to start out. Find out who organizes the shows near you. (Ask for the show directors.) Many venues offer events for girls to pop their drag cherries, so approach those spots as well. Good luck and break a leg sweetie!

 

Have a question only Ruthie can answer? Email DearRuthie@Shepex.com, then watch for her answer in a future issue of “Hear Me Out.”