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Monday, March 17, 2014

Confessions: March 17

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  • I've undergone chemo on and off for years. Every time my hair is starting to fall out I ask unsuspecting people to itch my head as my hands are full. Lots of hair falls out at the first slightest touch. I like their reactions.
  • I typically opt out of the naked scanner at the airport because I really enjoy being patted down – it’s usually the only physical contact I get.
  • The first man I had sex with after we broke up was white…I know that would be make you furious so it was even more satisfying.
  • I fantasize about having sex with my supervisor because of the power it would give me.
  • Part of me is relieved you'll never propose, because I don't have any friends to be Bridesmaids
  • I am terribly afraid people might be able to read my mind. I work in customer service and sometimes I get so nervous I find a reason to walk away.
  • My social anxiety prevents me from helping my son participate in school activities. It makes me feel like a sh*tty mom.
  • I always have to tap my elbow on the table before I take a bite of food. If I don’t, I can’t put the food in my mouth.
  • When I select food from a cafeteria or deli, I always pick the food that looks the lonliest…like it wishes it would get picked but never does… “today is your lucky day!”
  • I suspect pictures of people are watching me through the frames, so I act accordingly in their ‘presence’ just in case.