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Monday, Oct. 21, 2013

Confessions: Oct. 21

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  • I'd rather be a "complete f**kin idiot", than a liberal, I win...p.s. watch your meter!!!
  • I often think that people overlook how smart I really am because they only focus on my pretty face. I am more than just my looks!
  • Even though my wife cheated on me, I won’t divorce her because I don’t want my son to have a negative opinion of his mother.
  • Dear person berating the parking checker for being conservative….your comments not only contradict the point you attempted to make, but make you no less of bully than him. Choose your words and your battles a little more carefully. Signed – a liberal who can live peacefully amongst the opposition.
  • The truth is, your roommate and I only pretend to dislike each other so that you won’t catch on to the fact that we are sleeping together every chance we get!
  • I feel like I have finally found God, and it makes me so happy and so scared all at the same time.
  • Dude, I don’t care if you think eating salads is “girly” - I care about my health! Enjoy your burger, fatty!
  • Call me crazy, but I am 48 years old and still waiting for the love of my life. I am not giving up, and I refuse to settle for anything less than perfect love.
  • To the person who wonders how long it would take people to notice if you went missing…I hope that you read this and know that there are people who care if you let them.
  • When people throw away copious amounts of uneaten food, I really do want to tell them that there are starving children in Africa and hope they feel guilty for being wasteful.
  • Every time I see black garbage bags on the side of the highway I can’t help but think that they must be full of dead body parts. Obviously been watching too much Dexter….
  • You claim to have been “true to me” while we dated in college…but the naked photos of another woman that I found on your computer kinda disproves that, idiot!