Horny Goat Hideaway’s Fun, Pub Atmosphere
Enjoy pizza, beer and more along the Kinnickinnic River
The two-story
interior features walls that have been stripped down to their basic brick. A
small bar that seats 12 is joined by tables on the main level and many more on
the upper mezzanine. With its flat-panel TVs and electric dartboards, Horny
Goat Hideaway is geared toward a casual audience. Outside, construction is
under way with the hopes of soon adding sand volleyball courts, fire pits and
boat slips.
The bar is popular
in and of itself, but many of the patrons are here to eat as well. The menu
consists of casual bar fare—think appetizers, burgers, panini, salads and
flat-bread pizzas. Starters include the usual nachos, chicken wings,
quesadillas and stuffed potato skins.
One starter that
stands out is the “3 Little Pig Wings” ($7.95). Just what is a pig wing? It is
a piece of pork with a small section attached. It is more like a lollipop, and
may be the best innovation since the flat iron steak. The tender, succulent
meat is like that of a spare rib (minus all of the fat). Choose one of four
sauces: barbecue, teriyaki, buffalo or Dead Heat hot sauce. Dead Heat, at the
upper extreme of hot sauces, is by far the spiciest.
The guacamole
($6.95) may not live up to its billing as the “best guacamole in town,” but
it’s good enough, freshly made with tomato, onion and avocado. It is topped
with chopped scallions when, perhaps, some serrano pepper or cilantro could add
that missing spark. The blue corn tortilla chips are a pleasant change of pace.
A beer pairing is
suggested for all items, even the salads. Currently there are six Horny Goat
brews to choose from, some on tap and some in bottles. Try a pint of Hopped Up
’N Horny, a hoppy pale ale with a full body. The Belgian-style wheat beer
almost hits the mark, but would improve with more alcohol content, since
Belgian beers tend to be strong.
Beer always tastes
good with pizza, and the flat-bread pizzas here are the best reason for a
visit. There are 11 to choose from ($8.95-$11.95), plus a Build It Yourself
pizza that you customize. The basic pizza, which comes in the shape of a
square, has a homemade crust that is thin and crisp, a bit like a soda cracker.
The standard base is tomato sauce and mozzarella. Large for a personal pizza,
it is enough for two with side salads or appetizers.
One option for pizza
is called the Inferno ($9.95). In spite of its name, it is nowhere near as
spicy as the Dead Heat sauce. The spiciness comes from pepperoncini,
giardiniera, pepperoni and the tomato sauce. The pickled peppers are used in
moderation, which saves the pizza from too much vinegar.
You’ll also find a
pizza of the day. On one visit, this took the form of wild mushroom pizza ($9),
a version that deserves to be on the regular menu. This is a white pizza with a
roasted garlic base. Provolone is added to the mozzarella. The mushrooms may
just be portobellos, but the flavor is intense and makes for an exceptional
pizza.
The sandwiches don’t
fare as well as the pizzas. The burgers ($5.95-$6.96) are OK, with a tasty
kaiser roll, but the quarter-pound patty is thin enough to easily overcook. The
chicken breast sandwich ($6.95) offers small strips of bacon and Swiss cheese,
but needs something more to perk it up. Avoid the vegetable panini altogether.
The round piece of bread has the texture of Wonder bread and is not warmed up.
The filling of leaf lettuce, avocado, mushroom, black olive, red onion and
tomato is fresh, but this is like making a sandwich out of a salad without any
dressing. Alas, even the mozzarella and provolone cheese fail to come to the
rescue. Sauces are available on the side at an additional charge, however, so
perhaps one of these would help out.
Luckily, the soups
are another bright spot. A daily special of chicken and sausage gumbo
($2.95-$4.95) offers a great combo of okra, onion and rice, along with a kick
of filé powder.
The Horny Goat
Hideaway remains a work in progress. Once the exterior work is complete, the
facility is destined to become a major draw. For now, the Hideaway is still a
fun place to visit. Order a pizza and a side of pig wings and wash them down
with something hoppy. This is what a beer pub should be.
Horny Goat Hideaway
2011 S. First St.
(414) 482-4628
$
Credit Cards: MC, VS, DS
Smoke-Free
Handicap Access: Yes



Went to HG on the fri before their "grand opening." Place was packed and the asthetics are very cool- you definitely don't feel like you're basically in a concrete jungle. The owners have done a very impressive job of creating a unique entity in this area- there truly isn't anything like it around.
We were told that the wait could be one hour, but "don't worry because it definitely won't be long." It ended up being 75 minutes, which wouldn't have bothered us except for what she had promised us. Simple rule- always tell customers the wait will be longer than it will be, then they'll be happy when it's shorter. NOT THE OPPOSITE!
When we got seated, we were greeted by a server who came off as THE DUMBEST FEMALE CURRENTLY WALKING THE PLANET. This place, as with most drinking establishments, seems to hire servers STRICTLY based on looks, with ZERO regard for whether they can adequately communicate with any adults that aren't frat boys. When asked about different entrees, she couln't tell us anything about the predominant flavors, or whether something was spicy etc. We all ended up getting burgers that had decent flavor, but the patties were somewhat small. We all ordered them Med Rare, but they all came out well done. Simple rule #2- don't ask me how I want my burger cooked if you're not going to cook it that way.
My wife and I have worked in the service industry for 15 years, and we are not oblivious to the ways and means by which bar/restaurants make money. Seemingly attractive servers bring in the drinking men who spend a lot of money. However, for a place like this that is trying to be more than a "water street college bar" in the 5th ward, the owners need to place more emphasis on taking care of ALL their customers- not just the frat boys.
I love this place. The atmosphere was great, and the food was wonderful. I love their sandwiches!! I have been there many times and have been both at the bar and ate dinner. Each time I've came back i've had a better server every time. In the beginning it seemed that staff was a little confused and service was not the best, but now it seems they are getting more tentative and the food is better. I definetly reccomend this place to everyone. Location is fabulous!